Forgettable Moments to Remember

Do you remember the scene in "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood" where Susan Sarandon is about to lose her mind taking care of several children with the stomach flu?  I won't bother posting a clip here since it's such a horrid scene that it terrifies women who haven't had children yet and reminds mothers of their own ugly moments that they've tried to forget.  But when my husband and I watched this movie for the first time, long before we had children, I remember him asking, "Where is the Dad?" 

Now, years later, his question pops in my mind from time to time with a twinge of resentment.  Like this week. All four of the children have been sick all week. I haven't been anywhere all week.  ANYWHERE. ALL WEEK.   For being a stay-at-home mom, I don't actually like to stay at home.  At least not for days and days on end. With sick children.  I have lost track of all the times I have dealt with sick children when my husband was busy at work (working hard to provide for us, I might add) or out of town. 

And although it is easy to feel like somehow I'm the martyr, I was reminded several times this week that although this is hard... and I mean HARD...there is no where else I'd rather be.  Okay, on a beach with a mai tai sounds pretty good, but what I mean is there is no one else I would want to console my suffering child besides me. There is no one else I would want to rub my child's back and sing to them and tell them that it was going to be okay and that mommy was going to take good care of them.  And although my husband is wonderful at caring for our children, when they are sick, I still feel like no one else can do the better job than me. It is a privilege and honor to care for them with tenderness and concern. 

There is nothing worse than watching your child suffer except maybe the thought of them suffering without you. And so, although it has been a long week, (and the weekend doesn't seem to hold much promise) I'm going to keep close to my kiddos and offer them what comfort I can and appreciate that normally we are in good health. There is so much to be thankful for. I'm grateful that we have access to the best healthcare in the world, and thankful for the invention of motrin. And really thankful that I had plenty of wine and frozen dinners on hand. 

And soon this week will be full of moments that I will have forgotten, but the message I have given to my children will be remembered always.

Multitasking: A FORCE To Reckon With

I have a love/hate relationship with Jillian Michaels.  I much prefer working out at the gym, most especially because of the day care, but sometimes like when I have a kid home sick or a baby that naps three times a day, the 30 Day Shred has been a great way to get in an intense workout in under 30 minutes. 

I can’t say that I actually like most of what she has to say. I am not working out so that I can look great in ALL those strapless dresses that I wear (ha!).  And if I were working out to look good in a bikini I would have given up long ago.  I don’t even usually listen to her anymore, I just turn on my itunes and mute the TV. But recently I had the volume on for some reason and she said,

“Most people don’t show up for their own lives.  They just go through their whole day without ever bringing their A game”.

(I know you’re asking yourself if she is seriously quoting the wisdom of Jillian Michaels?)

That’s me, I thought.  I often feel like I’m just going through the motions getting to the next task. As Yoda would say (now she’s quoting Yoda?)

"All his life he has looked away... to the future... to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was....what he was doing"

 

 

Now let me be clear… there is a big difference between perfection and “bringing your A game”. As a mother of four young boys, if I am looking for perfection I will be disappointed. If I wait for the perfect time to workout, I will never exercise.  If I wait for the perfect time to pray, I will be waiting a long time.  If I expect my house to be immaculate, I will drive myself and those who live here crazy.   Perfection is not something that’s attainable, but doing my best is what I am called to do. 

As Blessed Mother Theresa says, “We are not called to be successful, but to be faithful”

This has been a humbling realization.  My “A game” doesn’t always bring “A” results.   Maybe that’s why it’s easier sometimes to bring my “B” or “C” game… then when I get average results, it’s not so disappointing.

So I resolved to bring my A game that day.  But as I went through my day, I realized that thinking about paying bills while I was folding laundry and remembering to organize the carpool while I was in the shower was actually an important skill.  I think women have a unique gift in their ability to multitask.  While often men can be so focused on their reading or football game that they don’t even hear a kid talking directly to them, women often can hear what’s going on in four different rooms with all of her children while cooking dinner and talking on the phone.  And this is a gift.  Many times this ability has helped me save a child from danger... even if it means that sometimes the dinner gets burned.

Maybe not always having 100% of mind on what I am doing is actually a gift.  I mean, how much mind power does laundry or dishes require?  Dreaming gives us hope. If Luke Skywalker had brought his A game to every little farming chore, maybe he would have been too worn out to fight the dark side and save the galaxy. If he hadn’t been spending his time dreaming of how he wanted to make a difference in the world, maybe he wouldn’t have had the courage (and ego) to go and become a Jedi.  Dreaming for myself, my boys, and our family gives me a sense of the bigger picture and what I’m really trying to accomplish.  And while I can’t give all of my thoughts and energy to everything all the time, I think I’ll keep dreaming big and multitasking and save my “A game” for the moments that really count. J