Nursing

I know many women who have been unable to breastfeed, and others who made heroic sacrifices to nurse. One friend pumped everytime her baby ate since he wouldn’t nurse. My sister nursed for an entire year while completing her residency to become a doctor…working incredibly long and crazy hours in an intense setting. I know women who have had mastitis so badly that it required surgery. But I have been blessed that nursing my babies has always been easy.

Hmm… maybe easy isn’t the right word. I do remember the first few weeks with my firstborn son being so frustrating that I wondered if pigs and cows could do this, why couldn’t an educated woman figure it out? I have had moments of sheer exhaustion and utter exasperation. There were times in the first weeks after each of my children when I knew that I would quit if it didn’t get easier. But it always did. So maybe easy isn’t the right word….but fulfilling.

I have had a real sense of awe and wonder at how my body knew just what to do to nourish my child. I’ve been amazed that my child could grow and gain weight by nursing. I've been grateful that my baby can better fight off infection with my antibodies. I’ve taken better care of myself, knowing that everything I put in my body could be passed onto my child. I’ve been completely and totally astonished by how it can relax me better than a glass of wine, and bond me to my children.

And I've gotten more comfortable with nursing, even in public. Baby #4 has been nursed at baseball fields, restaurants, pools, church, and more places than I can count. When you are trying to juggle the needs of six people, you make some compromises.

Sometimes these compromises make me feel stretched and overwhelmed. But when I’m nursing, especially if no one else is immediately demanding anything, I often feel like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. Although I spend large parts of my day juggling demands and occasionally feeling inadequate, when I’m nursing I feel like I’m enough. More than adequate. My baby delights in me and is satisfied.