In my last post I wrote about how I sometimes feel unsuccessful in my life as a wife and mother. I should clarify. In economics (that was my minor in college), they separate Macroeconomics from Microeconomics. Well, I think in motherhood it helps to think in terms of Macromothering and Micromothering.
I feel fairly successful in the Macromothering of life. My children are good kids. They know they are loved. They are nourished well physically, spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually. They have a safe place where both parents adore them, and they have each other.
It’s the area of Micromothering where I feel challenged. Like when I spent the last hour mopping the floor just to have my son pee all over it (while I’m on hold with the utility company). Like when my second grader has to explain to his teacher that his mom had the sprinkler set up wrong and that’s why his homework has watermarks all over it. (The day after he had to explain that his two year old brother painted with water colors all over his map.) It’s the little moments when I feel stretched and not enough and inadequate at the tasks before me. It’s when I lose my patience and “toss” the monster truck that I’ve stepped over a hundred times out of my way with a little extra force.
These are the moments when I am humbled. When I wish I was the person I’d envisioned I’d be when Keith and I first got married. You know, kind of a mix between Carolyn Ingalls from Little House on the Prairie, and Clair Huxtable. I thought I would be the epitome of patience, love, and put-togetherness.
The good news is that
“love covers a multitude of sins.”
Even though I occasionally lose it or feel like I can’t keep up, I love. And that might be the most important gift of all.
Kate,
ReplyDeleteI loved reading your blog. I have been writing a blog for sometime and I appreciate that you are doing so. YOu have a beautiful family and, yes, the most important thing parents give their children is love.
God bless you, Keith and all the family.